And, I like to think, I’m not the only guy that’s like that in the world. I didn’t learn to develop a comfort for the opposite sex until after high school and even then I’m still a gooey, incredibly fragile and collapsible foundation of a nervous wreck covered with a slight awesome layer of Barney Stinson.
See I grew up on a diet of Hollywood romance where I believed, that once I developed that ability to not get tongue tied and talk about my mother, that conversation would be nothing but witty one-liners fraught with sexual tension.
But, for some reason, the scenarios that I work out in my head, don’t really translate well into real life.
And this is the guy that has done almost everything out of the book. I have hand-crafted epic first dates only for things to always fall through. I’m the guy that went around making poetry for girls, the guy that tried to hire a horse and carriage for the year 12 formal, the guy that joined a choir to specifically try to convince them to help me ask out a girl in the form of song.
For a first date with a girl I planned on taking her ice skating, then to the Melbourne Aquarium, then to a dinner at Crown and to cap it all off with going to a rooftop cinema. In the end, I got stood up.
Am I elaborate? Yes. Do I come off as a little creepy? Yes. Do I come off really strong? Definitely. And for everything else, there’s MasterCard.
I go to all this effort because, as a modern male, I’ve grown up on a strict diet of romantic comedies and being told that’s what women want.
But the thing is, barbershop quartets are expensive, sometimes the girl lives on the 16th story of a building and short of using a home-made lemon cannon you’re not going to be getting her attention late at night. Something you never really realise is that those elaborate situations are funded on the premise that the protagonists are incredibly successful and well-off people with just the right amount of time and money to do all that.
And it turns out doing elaborate romance ideas for cheap doesn’t really work out well. Just recently I went to go surprise a girl at her place, and I’m almost certain that if I had a team of choreographed dancers as well as a giant sign going “WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME?” then my idea totally would have worked. But in the end, I ended up standing around alone in a car park with random backpackers shouting at me.
Some things just do not translate well from the screen to real life.
Just like how even cool guys look at explosions, or how waxing a car will not teach you karate, or how a quick shopping spree doesn’t end with you looking absolutely fabulous.
But that’s also a good thing for us socially awkward guys out there. You don’t have to be a smooth talking player in order to get the girl. Sometimes you can just be that nice guy who opens doors and pulls out chairs.
So I think it’s relatively safe to say that those giant elaborate gestures aren’t what women really want. Time and time again I’ve proven this, much to my chagrin. I mean there’s no reason why you shouldn’t, it certainly doesn’t hurt your chances. But in the end it’s not a pass or fail sort of thing. Love and romance itself isn’t going to get summed up in a neat hour and a half period where you crazy and hilarious misadventures happen and it all culminates with a kiss at the end.
When you like someone, and if you’re lucky enough for them to like you back. All it really takes is just some time and effort, flowers and chocolate never go out of style and being a gentleman never does either.
I’m a relatively simple guy. Still young and stupid with an incredibly skewed viewpoint on romance and love. Persisting still, because maybe one day I’ll find a girl who’ll find the things I do non-creepy and kind of dorkily cute.
Like, for example, leaving a hidden message in an article for someone because I’m hoping that the third time’s the charm. But in the end, maybe it takes lot more courage and a lot less effort, if you just be someone’s friend and perhaps, with a lot of luck, it all works out in the end. Rather than putting together the first words of each sentence on the previous paragraph.